How to Shop for a Prom Gown..

I know it may feel as though you have a long time until prom, it will be here before you know it.  Here are some things to keep in mind as you eagerly wait for the most exciting night of your high school years!

1.  TRY STUFF ON! Let’s face it, a prom gown is not the same as a sun dress. It has yards and yards of fabric intricately sewn together to make some sort of shape – that is 100% undistinguishable on the hanger. Try it on!

2.  FORGET THE ADS: Those models wearing the designer gown in the ad you are looking at is a good reference point to start from, but that is all it is good for. Photos can be manipulated to make a dress look like it does something that it does not. Never trust a photo. (Mind you, a pro award-winning photographer is giving you this tip).

3.  SKIP THE CAMERA: Trust your eyes! Snapping a crappy pic with your iphone is a HORRIBLE way to choose a gown. And we all know that cameras add 15 lbs. Bad lighting can make a super fab dress look like rubbish. Trust your eyeballs. The see fine details that your camera cannot (eg sparkle), plus you’ll look thinner.

4.  DECIDE WHILE YOU ARE IN IT: If you have to sleep on it – it’s not your dress, keep looking. “Sleeping on it” is code for shopping losers who have been schnookered into buying crap they didn’t like or want. Don’t worry, it’s happened to all of us. Those who recover learn this trick. And you are not a shopping loser. Look in the mirror and address each like and dislike with THIS dress. It is much easier to decide if it’s THEE dress while you are wearing it.

5.  SAVE THE INTERNET FOR NON-CRUCIAL STUFF: Does it matter what prom gown you wear? If the answer is no, then go nuts and buy your gown from cheapassgowns.com and have at it. If you answered yes, see steps 1 - 4. If you purchase online, then you have a fundamental flaw - you can’t try the dress on.

6.  DON’T EVEN THINK IT: You might be thinking I can so try on the dress – this shop down the street carries my dress. I’ll just try it on there and order it online. You have two major problems with this mindset. #1 – The shop you are using is individually owned and operated. That means the dress you are trying on and the services (consultants, dressing rooms, and time) cost something. To go into a privately owned store and use their stock and staff, tie up dressing rooms, and then buy online is whorey. If you have trouble rationalizing this – look at it this way. This is someone’s aunt, sister, or mother who is trying to feed her kids. You go in waste her time, wear out her dresses thereby devaluing them, and then you say sionora and buy from the net. It’s technically not stealing, but it should leave you feeling like scum because it IS a scummy thing to do. If you have no conscious and can look the woman helping you in the eye and still feel okay with yourself, you have a second major issue. #2 - Online retailers don’t give a crap about you. If you have a problem with your order, your dress is damaged, you need a seamstress, or you need your gown steamed – you are 100% on your own. The most often net ordering issue I hear is that they never placed the order for the gown with the vendor. You’ll find out with less than one weeks notice (assuming you even get notice) and then you are back to square one with no dress. This happens VERY OFTEN. It is a major problem because no one thinks it will happen to them. You also have the problem of the net vendor taking your money, not ordering your dress, and going under. And since this is not a local person who has to sit next to you at church, they keep your money and don’t feel guilty about it. Nameless and faceless business are NOT your friend. Save the internet purchases for stuff that doesn’t matter if it shows up or not.

7.  MATCHING YOUR MAN: For the love of all that is good – tell your guy to make sure his butt is in the tux rental store at least 4 weeks early. No, you can’t walk into the store pick one, and walk back out. It typically doesn’t work like that. And all the good tuxes get snatched early during prom season, so don’t wait until it’s too late. Your date will end up being the screw-up who has to wear his Easter/funeral suit to prom – which does NOT match your awesome dress.

These wonderful tips brought to you by H.M Ward